Where to start...

Ugh! I can't believe I haven't posted a real update since March! It doesn't seem like it's been that long. I've been busy and SOOOOO MUCH has been going on.

What's happened since my last update? Well, on June 11th, my dissolution was finalized (*insert happy dance here*). Not even a full month after the dissolution was finalized, my ex-husband married the woman he cheated on me with. I admit it did sting at first, but now I just don't have any emotion or feeling towards him. I just can't muster it up to care. Apathy at it's finest.

I was going to move into an apartment located pretty close to where I was living, but that fell through. So, for now, at least, the kids and I are living with my parents. I love being this close to family, so I'm looking for a place closer to them (we were living 45 minutes away). It's a small town, but it's nice here. The kids love their new school. Speaking of which, Hannah (my youngest) started kindergarten this year! My baby is getting so big!

I've been loving my job. I'm working in a yarn shop, and it's wonderful! I do the mundane retail stuff, plus help customers with their knitting (which, no matter how frustrating, is always interesting), and I'm even teaching a class! Right now I'm teaching a class on how to cable without a cable needle. It's been a lot of fun.

Being a Mom and working at the shop has been keeping me pretty busy lately, and as a result of that I didn't knit much for a few months. However, in the past few weeks, I've been getting my knitting mojo back. Maybe the cooler weather has something to do with it, certainly my job has. Currently on the needles I have Reid, a sweater from knitty.com for my cousins 2 yr old daughter. I'm using Hempathy for that and it's working up beautifully. I also just finished a Scarlet & Gray baby blanket & hat set for my best friend's little sister's first baby. They're Ohio State Buckeyes fans, so I figured I'd help get the baby ready for his first OSU game...lol

Sorry there's no pictures in this post. I know you guys like looking at projects, but for now you're out of luck. My camera died and my phone doesn't take very good pics. It'll probably be a while before I get a new camera, but, please! give me suggestions/recommendations! I don't know much about cameras, so educate me!

And, before I forget! On the weight loss front, I am extremely proud to say I've lost a grand total (so far) of 50 (yes, fifty!) pounds! I reached the 50 pound mark back in July, and I've been avoiding weighing myself lately. I've been slacking off on the hooping and I just know I haven't lost any more. But that's okay. I'm trying to get back into a routine with the hooping and those pounds will start melting off again! I started out weighing 232 and I'm down to 180.

I know, I know, I haven't updated in forever. I'm sorry about that. There's been A LOT going on lately. I'll write up a real post soon letting all of you in on what's been happening. I'm touched by the emails asking me where I've been & why haven't I updated. Everything is okay, I'm just busy doing what needs done. I promise I'll give you guys a real update as soon as I can :)

Knitting content? really?....wow

I know I'm sick of the personal drama, so I'm guessing you are too. But for those interested, everything is pretty fucking good right now. I have a job, I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and I have wonderful family. I feel better than I have in years, both physically and emotionally. Weight wise, I started out in January at 232 lbs. I'm now down to 210, and still losing. Emotionally, I feel free. I'm moving on, and I feel more positive than ever.

Now, since this *is* a knitting blog, how about we move on to the actual knitting content?

I dug through my UFO pile (decided that I have to finish a UFO or two before I can CO something with my DIC smooshy) and started working on the Ellington socks again. I'm not knitting on it as much as I should, so it's going slowly, But I'm almost to the half way point on the leg of the second sock.

I know what they say about good intentions, but I still have every intention to finish Vivian. I have the body section done, and one sleeve completely done, the second sleeve is mostly done, and then all that's left is the yoke, hood & sewing on the zipper. I haven't actually worked on it since December, but I hope to get back to it soon.

I'm also still (slowly) working on my entrelac blanket. It's about 14 inches in length right now, but like I said before, it's a long term project, and I work on it when I can.

I've reached a point with the UFO pile that it's either finish something or frog something, because I'm running out of needles for other projects...lol

You spin me right round, baby....

...right round, like a record baby, Right round round round...

oh, you're welcome for the earworm :)

Back in mid-January, I started hooping. I bought a 40 inch hula hoop from Nicehoops on Etsy.com, and was very quickly addicted. It's the most fun I have ever had working out. Mid-January is also when I started trying to lose weight, so not only did I start hooping, but I've cut out soda, and dramatically cut down the fast food (from 3 times a week to zero or one time a week). In that time, I've dropped 15 pounds. It's a wonderful feeling. Clothing that used to be snug and tight are now loose and baggy. Plus, I just simply feel better :)

It's getting to the point where I'm hooping more than I'm knitting. I love turning on some loud, fast-paced music and just playing with my hoop. It's good for centering me when I've had a bad day, and relaxing me when I've had a hectic day. And you know what? It's just plain fun.

btw- I'm still (slowly) working on the entrelac blanket. Right now it's living on my couch and I knit a few stitches here and there, but I knew it was a long-term project before I started it. I have learned something new on it though. I learned how to knit backwards, so I don't have to flip the whole project every ten stitches anymore...yay me :)

meh...

Crap keeps happening, but I'm ignoring it. Nothing I can do to change it , and some of it I don't want to change. So, I choose to move past it. Easier said than done, but I'm doing it. AND, I'm getting my life put together.

I've been putting out resumes and job applications for the past month, and I finally got a bite. One of the resumes I sent out, I sent to my favorite LYS. I have a job interview with the LYS owner on Monday, March 1st. I'm hopeful, and this feels right, so wish me luck :)

Also, my 28th birthday is coming up soon! March 3rd! I love birthdays!

I am okay...

and I've even been knitting a little bit :)

DH may have left me, but now, I'm feeling good about it. I feel empowered by this. I'm single now (yes, technically still married, but we're not together and never will be together again) and I no longer have a partner to answer to. I don't have to consider him for everything anymore. Yes, we'll be connected for eternity because we have three children together, but I am my own person now, not just a wife and mother. This is a good thing. I've been bettering myself for me, and I feel great. I'm loosing weight, and feeling more confident. I've been getting glimpses of the vibrant, confidant woman I used to be before the depression changed me. I'm looking for a job now, so cross your fingers for me and wish me luck. It's no longer a question of IF I can do this, because now I know that I WILL succeed. For my kids, I can do anything.

And, as for knitting, a few days after Christmas, I decided to start knitting up all of those seemingly millions of worsted weight yarn scraps leftover from other various projects that I had laying around. I'm using them to knit an Entrelac blanket. I'm using each color one at a time until it runs out, then I start another color. I threw all of the scraps into a big shopping bag and I'm grabbing new balls at random. I cast on 210 stitches and made my base triangles/squares 10 stitches wide. This blanket is one of the ugliest things I've ever seen, but I love it. HERE is a pic I took of it on January 28th, It's a little bit bigger and more of an eyesore now....lol

FML

seriously. the shit storm didn't end. fuck my life. my husband decided our marriage is over. I can't bring myself to be mad at him. I keep thinking that if I were mad it would be easier to let him go. But, we have 3 kids, so for them, I'm glad I'm not mad at him. Since I've been practically a Stay at home mom for the last 10 years, he's agreed to stick around and support me fully until I can get a job, some savings built, and get on my feet. I'm extremely grateful for that, But, I'm scared. no, scratch that, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of being single. I've been with my husband since I was 16 years old. I don't know how to be single. I don't want to be single. I'm terrified of being a single mom. I'm freaking out over having to enter the work force completely unqualified, and worrying about making enough money to support my kids. I know I'll get spousal support and child support from DH, but I don't want to have to live on that alone. How will I find a job I can do in the hours while my kids are in school that will earn me enough money to give my children a good life? Worrying about all this has been keeping me up at night. Worrying about this has made me loose my appetite. I've been forcing myself to eat, but I've still dropped 10 lbs (the weight loss was triggered by my oral surgery, but furthered by heartbreak depression). Who knew that with the stereotype of heartbreak = ice cream, pizza, and cookies, that the reverse would be true for me. Oh well, I'm happy to see the weight go. I've got too much to begin with, and family has always told me, that when your heart is broken, the best revenge is looking good.

DH is right about one thing though. I have a lot of love to give and I deserve someone who will love me back.